Knowing you need birth mother help after adoption is a big step in its own.

Adoption can be a beautiful thing. It’s a different way to create a family than the traditional way.

For this to happen, there are birth parents that make courageous decisions.

Some need to seek Birth Mother help after adoption.

Some know in their heart that it is the best choice for them and for their baby.

Although in the greater picture this is true, it can still have an emotional effect on someone.

Even though it is a brave and selfless act, it can bring a range of negative feelings.

It is important to take the steps to continue your life in a positive and healthy way.

Here are 5 things for Birth Mother help after adoption :


  1. Follow your post-adoption plan.

Birth Mother help after adoption

Following the plan you made can contribute to birth mother help after adoption.

When working with the right adoption professionals, they will help you make a post-adoption plan.

At Adopt Connect our coordinators assist birth mothers with figuring out what kind of adoption they would like after placement.

This consists of what kind of adoption they would like – open, closed, semi-open.

We help inform birth mothers before they make their decision.

Major studies show that openness in an adoption decreases stress and increases satisfaction for both birth parents and adoptive parents.

For more information on the different types of adoption, click here.

Once it is decided how much communication a birth mother wants, our coordinators help them decided what type of communication they want.

This consists of visits, pictures, letters, phone calls, etc.

It is important that a birth mother follows through with her post-adoption plan.

If it is decided before the placement that you wanted pictures and letters, changing your mind might hurt you more in the end.

That communication could reassure your decision and help with the negative emotions you might feel.


  1. Acknowledge your feelings.

Birth Mother help after adoption

To understand your grief, a birth mother must also know that the grieving process is natural so it is best to acknowledge it.

The stages of grief are:

  • Denial and shock.
    • Sometimes the first thing you may do is to deny the reality of placing your child.

It is a defense mechanism that lessens the immediate shock of signing over consent.

Denial or shock is a temporary response that carries you through the first wave of pain.

  • Anger and Guilt:
    • You may be angry that you did not have the ability to parent your child in a way you thought best.

Thinking this way can result in a feeling of guilt that the child will resent you.

The truth is, you placed the child with a family that you thought could provide a better life.

  • Bargaining:
    • At this stage, you may begin to feel the need to regain control by thinking of things that could have been different in your situation.

You may bargain with yourself that avoiding the pain is possible.

  • Deep Sadness/Depression:
    • You may feel a profound sadness as you separated yourself from the child.

While you know that the family you have selected will take care of the child, there is still the feeling of extreme loss.

  • Acceptance:
    • If you acknowledge your feelings you can reach this stage.

You will feel a sense of calm understanding.

While not always a feeling of happiness, this phase can signify the realization that the child is in good hands.

Once you have acknowledged your feelings,  you can use the following of this list to deal with those feelings.


  1. Find healthy ways to cope.

Birth Mother help after adoption

Finding healthy ways to cope is important for Birth Mother help after adoption.

It is important to find a balance in your life after adoption placement. You do not want to ignore the situation but you shouldn’t be consumed by it either.

  • Live in the present:

If you’re worrying about the “what ifs,” you’re putting time and energy into something that doesn’t even exist.

You might miss out on the great things that are happening in your life at the moment.

Try making a list of the things you are grateful for and focusing on it.

Do not let your worries consume your thoughts but instead try to keep a positive outlook on your life.

  • Cry if you want to:

If you need to, let it out. Crying is a healthy way to let go of your bottled-up emotions.

In a 2011 study, tears that are the result of intense emotion were found to release stress hormones.

The release of these hormones results in your body getting rid of the toxins stored up inside.

  • Help others:

Try donating your time to people in need.

Sometimes helping others who need it can help you realize you aren’t the only one going through tough times.

Being able to help others might be the thing you need to cope with your own problems.

  • Ask for Help:

Knowing when to ask for help from others is incredibly important to Birth Mother help after adoption.

Try to be open and seek support.

See below to number 4.

  1. Ask for help.

Birth Mother help after adoption

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, wanting to be alone can be a common reaction to a stress or anxiety.

It is okay to admit you need help from others.

During most tough times we turn to our support systems.

In many cases, this would be our family and friends. Try not to push them away.

If you don’t have anyone to share your feelings with, you can always join support groups for birthmothers.

There are also a lot of helpful online adoption groups, websites, and blogs you can take advantage of.

Sometimes, it’s easier to share your feelings with someone who has been through the same experience as what you’re going through.

For a list of places birth mothers can find support, click here.


  1. Be an adoption advocate.

Birth Mother help after adoption

Birth Mother Help After Adoption sometimes begins with expressing your feelings.

Start a blog weather it is written or video. Then share it with others.

If you are willing to, share your experiences with others.

You will be surprised how motivating and inspiring you can be to others who might be going through the adoption process themselves.

Weather it is a birth mother who can relate to your story or adoptive parents gaining a better understanding of how a birth mother might feel.

You deserve to have your voice heard.


Overall, birth mothers should know that feelings of grief and loss after placement are completely natural.

Making a decision to give your child a better life than you believe you could provide is brave and selfless.

You are not alone and there people you can go to and places where you can find birth mother he,p after adoption.

Asking for help through this difficult time is not shameful, and birth mothers may find that people, including the Adopt Connect staff, are more than willing to help.

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