When families announce that they are choosing to adopt, there are many misconceptions that automatically arise in people’s minds. While each adoption situation is different, people need to be informed of the realities that adoptive parents face when they select an adoption plan.
Read on to see some of the most common misconceptions of adoptive parents proven wrong.
Myth: Adoptive parents will not love their child as much as a biological child.
Reality: This is completely false. Adoptive parents love their children the same as any biological parent. Just because they did not birth them does not mean that they were not a part of the delivery process. Often, adoptive parents are more thankful finally to begin a forever family of their own.
Myth: Adopted children will never have as good of a relationship with their parents than they could have had with their birth parents.
Reality: Just because a child is adopted does not mean that they will not have a genuine relationship with their parents.
Myth: Adoptive parents will think of their child as a second choice.
Reality: This is completely untrue. Many families choose to adopt because they may already have close ties to adoption. Adoption is not a second choice, but a desire to begin a family no matter the process Adoptive parents choose adoption because they want to offer a child a loving home.
Myth: If adoptive parents choose an open adoption, then they are choosing to co-parent with the birth parents.
Reality: Just because an adoptive parent has selected an open adoption doesn’t mean that they plan to co-parent with the birth parents. While yes, open adoption means that the birth parent(s) may have some role in the child’s life, most of the time that part is minuscule. The adoption attorney or agency prepares what goes into an open adoption.
Myth: Adoption agencies or attorneys profoundly influence adoptive parents when creating an adoption plan.
Reality: Adoption agencies and attorneys are consistently regulated and moderated to make sure that they are providing the most ethical practices possible. They cannot persuade or influence a potential family into making any decision they do not want to make.
Myth: Adopted children will have problems because they are not living with their birth family.
Reality: There is no such thing as a perfect parent, and there is no such thing as a perfect child. An adoptive parent will do the best possible job they can by raising the child. Adopted children are not damaged.
Myth: If adoptive parents choose an open adoption it will lead to confusion for the child as they grow older.
Reality: Open adoption can be more beneficial to an adopted child as they can learn more about their background. Research shows that adoptees that at least know a bit about their birth parents have a better chance of adjusting healthily throughout their adolescence.
Myth: Adoptive parents are ‘saintly’ because they choose to grow their family by adoption.
Reality: Adoptive parents do not want to be seen as saintly or as a hero because they adopted a child. Their reasons for adopting are not vain, and they do not plan to use the baby as an accessory. Instead, they made the conscious decision to grow their family by spending lots of time and money to ensure that they could receive the blessing of adding a child to their family.
Myth: Adoptive parents must be wealthy because to adopt a child.
Reality: While some adoptions are more expensive than others, as long as your income is home study approved you can adopt a child. This does not by any means mean that an adoptive family is wealthy, but only that they can afford to adopt a child.
Myth: Adoptive parents often break their openness with a child’s birth parents if engaged in an open adoption.
Reality: Adoptive parents will rarely break their openness with their child’s birth parents. Unless there’s a severe circumstance which leads to inappropriate behavior on the birth family’s behalf, the adoptive family would want to remain open to the birth parents.
Myth: If an adoptive parent is single, they won’t provide care as good as an adoptive couple could.
Reality: Single adoptive parents provide the same care and love as any adoptive couple could as long as they are both home study approved. Single parent’s reasons for adopting are that they desire to begin a family and believe that they would be an acceptable parent on their own.
Myth: Same-sex couples cannot provide a safe environment for a child to grow.
Reality: There is no proof to show that same-sex couples cannot provide as good of care as a heterosexual couple. Same-sex couples can provide the same care for a child as long as they are home study approved and will give the child a loving home.
Myth: If an adoptive family already has children, it would be selfish to adopt another child.
Reality: Adopting a child is not selfish no matter what the situation. The family is choosing to welcome in a child while caring and loving for it throughout the child’s life. There is nothing selfish about adoption.