Silhouette of young man sitting on sunset or sunrise. Confident teenage boy thinkig on cliff stone. Hope. Sadness. Freedom.

There are many misconceptions one may have when they think of adoption. Some may think that the process takes too long while others may be too afraid after seeing adoption portrayed in media.

One of the most common stereotypes associated with adoption is the misconception of a birth father who wants nothing to do with the adoption process.

In reality, many birth fathers come from different situations and want to be involved in the selection of his child’s adoptive family.

Here are some of the myths and realities of birth father situations:

Myth: It’s not ‘manly’ to place a child for adoption.

Reality: If a birth father and mother come to the conclusion that they want to place their child for adoption, it is a decision being made in the child’s best interest. It takes a responsible person to make such a big decision.


Myth: Birth fathers have no legal rights when it comes to adoption.

Reality: Birth fathers have rights specified by state laws concerning adoption. In order to understand what legal rights a birth father is entitled to, the birth father must look up the laws in the state one resides in.


Myth: Birth fathers can’t choose the adoptive family.

Reality: Often times, the birth father is just as engaged in the selection process as the birth mother. Many birth fathers want to be a large part of the decision-making process.


Myth: Birth fathers don’t experience loss.

Reality: Many birth fathers experience a sense of loss and grieve their child. The reality of placing one’s child can lead to a ‘what if’ feeling the rest of one’s life.


Myth: The child will think the birth father abandoned him/her.

Reality: Adoption is not abandonment. Instead, it is making a decision in the best interest of the child. Birth parents rejecting their parental rights are making a decision that they think will best benefit the child. If the birth parents select an open adoption, they can also still be involved in the child’s life.


Myth: Birth father’s friends and family will think less of them when they find out they placed their child for adoption.

Reality: Educating one’s friends and family about the realities of adoption will help them come to understand the decision to place their child for adoption. One should explain why adoption is in their best interest while


Myth: Birth fathers are not doing the ‘right thing’ by placing their child for adoption.

Reality: What is right for one person may not be right for another. Whatever decision a birth father makes will be what he believes is the right decision.

Overall, remember to go into any adoption situation with an open and accepting mind.

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