Regret Adoption

Will I regret placing my baby for adoption?

This is a tough question with no definite answer.

There is no possible way of knowing how you will feel over time or if you will regret your decision. The best thing to do is to educated yourself on adoption and answer some tough questions.

Consider contacting an adoption coordinator who can provide you with more information.

Benefits to Adoption

  • 6.7 million women, who range from ages 15-44, have an impaired ability to get pregnant or carry a baby to term, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. These women and other families with the passion to adopt, have the means and the love to welcome a child into their home.
  • It is not goodbye. You have the option to have an open adoption.
  • If you cannot provide for your child financially or emotionally, the family you choose will provide a loving and stable home.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

  • Am I able to financially support this baby?
    • Not only do you have consider costs for when the child is an infant but costs for their life until they are 18 years of age. Here is a neat resource to see where you sit financially. Click here.
    • Things to consider:
      • Formula Cost: $60-$100 per month
      • Diapers Cost: $30-$85 per month
      • Childcare/Babysitting Cost: can vary per month
        • Ask yourself, do you have someone who can watch your child while you are at work or school? How much would it cost?
      • Clothes Cost: $20-$50 per month
      • Food After Your Baby Starts Solid Food Cost: $50-$100 per month
      • Miscellaneous Costs: $50-$400
        • Depends on where you can get items like a car seat, crib, stroller, etc.

      (Information and numbers from ‘Baby Center’)

      There are ways you can save financially. You can make it work if parenting is the decision you want to go with, but the tough reality of it is that it is extremely hard.

  • Am I emotionally ready to care for a child?
    • Being emotionally stable is an important aspect of raising a child. When you decide to parent, a child has to rely on you and you have to support that child 24/7. This can be emotionally overwhelming.
    • Ask yourself these questions:
      • Do I have support from my friends and family?
      • Do I have help if I need it? (Often, people say they will help but disappear after a week or two.)
        • If no, am I prepared to raise a baby all alone?
      • Can I handle the stress of worrying about the future?
      • Can I handle the financial stress?
      • Can you handle putting you baby first?
        • Less time for yourself?
      • Can you handle the stress of more responsibility?

      These are important things to think about. If you feel like you are financially and emotionally stable to parent, that’s great! But if not, you have to think what is best for not only yourself but your child as well.

Will I Regret Adoption?

This is still a question you must find the answer to yourself.

Depending on how you answered the questions above, will give you an idea of how you will feel later on down the road.

In most cases, women who could not financially or emotionally support a child did not regret their adoption plan.

Just because you do not regret your decision to place for adoption, does not mean that there is not any grief that follows.

It is important to have a good support system through this time.

Support After Adoption

Even though adoption is a brave and selfless act, it can bring a range of feelings.

It is important to take the steps to continue your life in a positive and healthy way.

Here are some resources:

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