Top 10 Questions from Birthmothers
If you are pregnant and looking at adoption as a possibility for your baby, it is likely that you have lots of questions. Here are 10 of the most frequently asked questions that we are asked by women considering adoption.
How does the adoption process work?
When you contact Adopt Connect you are immediately put in touch with an adoption coordinator who can guide you through the process. We provide you with ongoing guidance and answer all of your questions while you are making your decision. We are on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for you. We walk you through the steps of adoption from the initial conversation to the successful match with one of our fantastic adoptive families in a caring and supportive process. It is our goal to make the adoption process a positive experience and help you make the best decision for you and your baby.
Are there any costs to me?
There is absolutely no cost to you as the birthmother. Adoptive parents pay for the legal fees and other expenses as allowed by law. This can include legal expenses, medical expenses, and counseling services for you if you would like to utilize a counselor. In some states, the birthmother is also able to receive some living expenses related to the pregnancy.
What is the difference between an open and closed adoption?
In an open adoption, the plan is for the birth family to continue to be a part of the adopted child’s life. There will be direct contact between you and the adoptive parents before and after the birth of the child. You might speak on the phone, through text or email, or in person. After the birth, the relationship continues with pictures, letters, emails, phone calls, texts, and possibly visits. You will get updates on how the child is doing. The type and frequency of communication is something decided on by you and the adoptive family.
In a closed adoption, you and the adoptive parents do not have any communication either before or after the birth of the child. You may select the adoptive parents yourself or have us choose for you based on your wishes. There is no direct communication between you and the adoptive parents either before or after birth, and no pictures or letters following the birth.
Another option is a semi-open or semi-closed adoption. In the case of semi-open, there is limited contact both before and after birth. You might communicate through your attorney and speak to each other before the birth. After the birth there is limited communication through pictures, letters, and emails. In the case of the semi-closed adoption, there is limited contact between you and the adoptive parents before birth and no contact after birth.
While open adoptions are by far the most common type of adoption these days, it is your decision as the birthmother as to what kind of adoption you want.
How do I go about choosing an adoptive family?
We will provide you with a pool of adoptive families and encourage you to choose your top choices from their profiles. The profiles give you a chance to see how they live and the environment they plan to raise a family in, giving you a glimpse of what family life would be like for your child. Then, we will facilitate a conference call between you and the adoptive family that you choose. After the call, if you and the adoptive family both wish to proceed, then we will help to make the match official! After this, you and the adoptive family can communicate as much as you’d like and however is most comfortable for both of you. It is important to remember that throughout the process you are the one making the decisions and can pick the family that is perfect for your situation.
How are the adoptive families screened?
Every adoptive parent is thoroughly evaluated and has passed a home study with a licensed adoption agency. The home study process includes assessments of their character, marital stability, financial situation, lifestyle, and medical history. FBI background checks and fingerprinting are completed to verify there is no record of criminal activity or child abuse. Their home is also inspected by a social worker to ensure it is a safe environment to raise a child. Following the placement of a child into an adoptive home, the social worker will continue to monitor and supervise the family.
If I already have children, is adoption still an option for me?
Yes! Many of the women we work with already have children. Situations change and sometimes it is not possible for women to meet the legal and moral responsibilities of parenting an additional child. Choosing to place a child for adoption can be a great act of love for that child and your whole family.
Will my child be loved by an adoptive family?
While their reasons for adopting may vary, families choosing to adopt have made a choice to open their homes – and their hearts – to a child in need of a home. Whether it was due to infertility, pregnancy complications, or adopting in addition to biological children, the road to adoption is not an easy one. The families who make it through have decided that it is all worth it for the chance to welcome a child into their lives. Once they have adopted, they are overjoyed with love for the child as a member of their family. Studies consistently show that adopted children receive the same kind of nurturing love and attention from their adoptive parents that is given to biological children.
Does the birthfather have to be involved or in agreement with the adoption?
The law varies from state to state and our adoption coordinators can help you get the legal answers you need. Ideally the birthfather is part of the process and gives consent to the adoption. This is not always possible though. If the identity of the father is not known, if he has disappeared, or if he is violent then there are other options, as well. It is up to the lawyers working on the adoption to make sure that the law is followed for the state(s) involved.
If you are considering adoption and are concerned about not getting the birthfather’s consent, the best thing you can do is speak with one of our adoption coordinators. We will help you find out what kind of involvement by the father – if any – is required by law.
Once I have committed to the adoption, when is it complete?
For the adoption to be complete a few things need to happen. First, the baby has to be born. Then, the birth parent has to give consent to the adoption. Lastly, the time period during which the birth parent can still change their mind has to have passed. This is sometimes called the “revocation period” and how long it lasts is different state to state.
How do I get more information?
We’d be happy to go over the adoption process with you in more detail and answer any questions you may have. You can get connected directly with an adoption coordinator 24/7 by calling 1-866-641-1533 or Get Help Now.